Unrequited

The 'hey's and 'how are you's turn into
'Do you still think about me?'s
The question arises every now and again since our former 'we'
Suddenly turned back into 'you' and 'me'
All I can say in response is
'Sometimes I miss you, sometimes I don't.'

From there the convo takes the turn I always try to avoid
I receive a surplus of messages explaining how she feels
But... I can't reply
I can't be sucked back into something I tried to leave
I can't fall for her prose again
No words, facial expressions or body language can be understood by her
So I pour my heart into an ellipsis to explain where my head is
Dot dot dot, enter key.

And then I wait... hoping she understands
The ringing sound and flashing box alerts me that she sent me some words
Wishing my eyes would read them
And then it rings again...and again... and again
I interpret the flashes as morse code, saying:
'WARNING! READING THESE MESSAGES MAY RAISE BLOOD PRESSURE."
So I hesitate, but read it nontheless

My eyes see a wall of text
The bricks are words
And the color is questions
'What is that supposed to mean?'
'Why can I never get an answer from you?'
'Why can't you ever just tell me how you feel?'
'What happened to the girl I used to know that told me how she felt?'
My first thought, that girl died a long time ago
Second thought, emotions formed in words
Emotions formed in tears
And emotions displayed in a depressed posture never seemed to get through
So I stroked the keys slow and dropped tears on each one
Hoping some how my feelings would travel through ethernet cords, seep through the screen
And hit her like it's been hitting me, by this one message...

'You want me to love you again, but I swear I won't.'